http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/21/arts/music/21joyce.html?pagewanted=1&ref=music

A wonderful article about this amazing Mezzo. Her words about "taking off the singers mask" really resonate with me. It can be difficult to truly make the music your own and to express yourself through it, but she surely does and it's evident.

Prioritize

I appologize for my absence, lately. I do not have a good reason other than I've placed my priorities somewhere else.

Since my last post, I started a new job working full time as an admin. assistant for a local architecture company. While it's going all right and I'm paying the bills, I miss music every second of the day. I have begun to realize exactly why I decided to follow my passion for singing; I can not live without it. I feel incomplete and unsettled, especially lately.

My "job" has taken over every part of me and when I get home from work all I can think about it relaxing and "taking a load off" after a stressful day. (yes, everyday is stressful... but that's another post.) I do not take the time necessary to devote myself to my true calling and passion and it has been weighing on me for quite some time. Yes, I do practice every now and then, but it's nothing like it used to be. Now that the "audition season" is over, I have to work harder than ever to make practicing and honing my skills a priority. In fact, my top priority. I will be doing many more competitions/auditions this fall/winter and it is my goal to have new pieces prepared and the old ones polished.

I know this happens to a lot of singers/artists because not many of us are able to make a living doing what we love and have to work to pay the bills, so I know it can be done. I just need to keep my nose to the grindstone, so to speak, and get busy! These winter "blahs" have had a hold on me for far too long....

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm

Cameron and I are finally getting settled in our new apartment. We have made up our home on the second floor of a 1920's house and we are loving the space, light, and charm it has to offer. We've been painting and cleaning alot the past few weeks, but it's worth it. I love making this place ours. :)

Hansel and Gretel was alot of fun. I worked with some of the most talented people, which made the show so wonderful to be a part of. Unfortunately, my uncle passed away two days before the opening of the show, so that caused a little bit of strain on my focus. I learned so much about myself during the course of that production and I am very thankful to have been apart of it.

I am now looking for a position to "pay the bills" here in Syracuse and of course, some singing along the way. I know that we are here for a reason, and something will come my way. I was inspired by this quote from Emerson- "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm" and that will be my mantra as I job search. Please keep me in your prayers as I enter into, what I fear to be, a long process.

On a much lighter note, my husband is a rock star and was given a position as a Teachers Assistant and will be teaching Advanced Structures in the fall. So proud of him and excited for these awesome opportunities.

"And the song bird, keeps singing like she's done before." -Eva Cassidy

Words from a diva

The sun will not fall down from the sky if there are no more 'Traviatas'.
The world can and will go on without us
but I have to think that we have made this world a better place.
That we have left it richer, wiser than had we not chosen the way of art.

You must decide what you want to do in life,
for we cannot do everything.
Do not think singing is an easy career.
It is a lifetime's work; it does not stop here."

These words are from a masterclass given by Maria Callas. She will always be an inspiration.

Aujourd'hui, il pleut

Today, it's raining again. I don't dislike the rain. If everyday were sunny and beautiful, we wouldn't appreciate them. That being said, I wish it were one of those beautiful days. On days like today, I sit and read and do not want to go out into the rain. So here I sit, learning music and pondering life.

I spent some time today updating my blog and I added an inspirational quote from the Dean of the Music School at BoCo. When I first heard this speech, I was not inspired. I was nervous, in a big city, by myself, and probably too worried about catching the right train than listening to carefully to his speech. However, now that I read it again, I am inspired once more. I want to change the world with my music.

Some may say that this is unattainable. However, I believe I already have begun to achieve it. I tell myself each and every time I perform that there is one person in the audience who has never truly been touched by music. Never felt the power of expression that music allows us to explore. Never related to music in a way that allowed them to be in touch with who they really are and what their emotions are telling them. Music can do that, and this is what I hope to convey in my performing of it.

I do not think that music in its rawest form will change the world. Alas, the world of chordal structure, key signatures, and sonata form will not make the world put down their weapons and join hands with their neighbor. It is in the performance of it, in a passionate performance, that one can be touched by the melody; the way that it unfolds over a rich harmonic background and transforms to reveal a deeper sense of the emotions of humanity. It is in performance that I hope to inspire someone else to do something small for the betterment of themselves and potentially, of others. Perhaps giving their change to the homeless man on the street outside the theater, or calling a relative that they have not spoken to in a while to ask them how they are. In the rippling of such small gestures, I can change the world.

Perhaps, I am thinking too large and some may say that I should not set my goals so high. I disagree and would say to them that having high goals would be to say that I will be performing a leading role at the Met in 3 years. While I would love that, it is not realistic and I recognize that. Instead, I choose to set a goal that is more personal, much more introspective. In fact, it's something that I may never know that I actually achieve, but I will still try.

I encourage you all to attend live performances and to allow yourselves to be touched by music. Let it express emotions, that until that moment you were unable to express. Delight in that, and share that feeling with someone else.

Change the world. That's all I ask. :)

I've been diligently working on Gretel lately. The music for this opera is quite beautiful... Humperdinck was clearly heavily influenced by Wagner. I know I will have so much fun on this opera. One of the reasons I love performing so much is that you can add different aspects of your life to the character. I've been thinking about my self as a little girl and all the goofy things that I did. Skirt twirling, singing, braiding hair, dancing, playing games with my sister... Ah, those were the days!

The website is still quite new for me. I'm still working on getting everything together to put on it. I will be getting new headshots taken by Rick Stockwell at the end of the month. So look for that to be added in July! Very excited about this... the headshot from Sophomore year at OCU is just not cutting it anymore. hehe

Anyways, keep checking back for updates and I look forward to seeing you all at Hansel and Gretel!